ixnay-on-the-oddk: Sometimes I forget that some people really are that stupid.
sassniqua: why are fruit and vegetables so expensive that shit comes from the ground it should be free u feel me
catswithbenefits: i had a threesome last night but two people couldn’t make it
theheavyheartinthephonebooth: blinkstolemyheart: imagineharrypotter: Plot twist: Only tumblr users survive the apocalypse because we were too lazy to go outside to see what was going on. Second plot twist: We don’t realize everyone else is gone until we run out of food. We don’t really care until all the Nutella is gone. Third plot twist: We finally all meet up because we have to...
achronicmasturbator: Q is just like the letter O but with its dick out
partybarackisinthehousetonight: what if jamie lee curtis is still in lindsay lohan’s body and jamie is the one ruining lindsays reputation
shutupaubrey: shutupaubrey: have you ever been kissed so passionately that you felt like you were in a daze and you couldn’t even move and you got all woozy
esexist: i just got called a faggot by a group of 6th graders wearing polos
blakeliversage: sticks and stones may break your bones but my dick would absolutely destroy you
thebrothersjonas: in the words of buzz lightyear, i am to infinity and beyond done with you
COSMO SEX TIP #8329
arekelly: Instead of moaning during climax say “Flash 9 required for audio”.
lonelywhiteasian: all i ever say is “ugh” because it can show confusion, lust, disgust and contempt, and that’s pretty much my life
lanactrlaltdelrey: Reasons why I didn’t do my English essay: “If you don’t have passion for something, you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” - Lee Alexander McQueen
sufficients: BOYS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY’RE NERVOUS
tylerfucklin: can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you. why would i want blank paper
illustratedshadows: do you ever think about shit you did in the past and just go why the fuck did nobody punch me in the face
starllex: home is where the free food is
artsysauce: sorry I can’t go to school tomorrow I fractured my motivation
foodtrucker: i don’t have bags underneath my eyes, i have sacks full of disappointment and nearing deadlines